This morning I came across a book I haven’t seen in quite a while.  It was buried under the paper on my disorganized desk.  Looking for a little re-direction with my attitude that was simmering I thought I might read a quote from one of my favorite authors of common sense principles.  I opened the page to November 24 of DAILY REFLECTIONS FOR HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE by Stephen R. Covey and read the message. 

“Sometimes the most proactive thing we can do is be happy, just to genuinely smile.  Happiness like Unhappiness is a proactive choice.”          ~ Stephen R. Covey

These words changed the outlook of my day.  It even inspired me to write a quote of my own. 

“Days when one is overwhelmed with the burdens and responsibilities of their life are the days when one should heed such good advice from other reputable sources.”   ~ Kimberly Field

So go ahead and SMILE and BE HAPPY!

 

“ Motivation can fade, habits prevail.”

 

The other day I came across this saying and it really spoke to me.  I get motivated very easily.  Things enter this noggin’ of mine and I’m ready to implement the inspired thought.  From decorating a room or coming up with another parenting technique to formulating business ideas – they come fast and furious!

Forming habits take a little more effort and that’s where it gets a little tricky for me.   

Brushing my teeth three times a day is the only one habit I stick to it seems.  It’s a small commitment.  They say it takes repeating something approximately 20 days in a row to form a habit.

My motivation usually fades when I can’t find the time to execute my ideas.  Not to mention creating a habit where these ideas can come to life.   

It all boils down to having an inspired thought, getting motivated to set that thought into action, creating a habit of that action so when the motivation has faded, the productive habit prevails.   Eventually, you achieve what you want.

I’m feeling motivated right now….

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.  I can choose which it shall be.  Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet.  I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”  ~Groucho Marx

These words are a reminder that I can choose to feel happy.  Most of the time I am a happy person.  Sometimes the ones that are the closest to me can drive me crazy.  I’m not sure how it happens but before I know it I’m taking on whatever emotion that is imaginable – Sad, Excited, Frustrated, Relaxed, Angry and Happy.  When this happens it rarely makes anyone happy when I reflect a negative mood.   I tend to get wrapped up in what my dear ones are experiencing on days when I am tired.  I often have to pull back and remind myself that that’s what they are feeling, not me.  I Offer them love and support and let it go.

Mark Twain once said the best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up.  I’ve done this many many times and it truly works. 

Being happy is a decision, a choice.  It can be as simple as the statement Leo Tolstoy quoted, “If you want to be happy, be.”

“The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion.  The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being.”  ~Tenzin Gyatso, 14^th Dalai Lamat

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.”

- James Joyce

 

“Learn all you can from the mistakes of others.  You won’t have time to make them all yourself.”

- Alfred Sheinwold

 

And so I will chalk this day up to not learning or discovering much, thank goodness.  I didn’t seem to make many errors that I could learn from but then again who needs to be learning every day.  I’ve made enough mistakes for one person in one lifetime that I could use a day off.  Didn’t learn much today but I sure am happier today.  Perhaps its life’s way to giving me a rest to prepare me for tomorrow – a learning day.

Are you one of those many parents out there that are trying desperately to engage in your teenager’s lives?  Are you running ragged to accommodate these alien beings so you still feel there is still some connection between them and you.  Do you sometimes feel that they have invaded your home and hold a dictatorship over you (or act as if they do)?  Have you been hearing orders to drive them here and there?  Have you been changing meal times on a daily basis so you can get the whole family at the table together?  Have you been ignoring nasty comments and defiance of your house rules that normally would mean a ‘time out’ in earlier years?  Have your teenagers been showing signs of *rubber-neck syndrome every time you ask them to take out the garbage? If you are…you are not ‘tuned in’!  It’s not the teen you need to tune into, it’s you!  …or rather ME!!!

Last week I found myself completely zoned out.  At first I thought it was the humidity that made me feel lethargic.  Perhaps the summer sun was burning too harshly on my mood that I was bored of all summertime activities.  I considered that summer may not be that great of a season, until I realized that I wasn’t paying attention to ‘me’.  My offspring were sapping me of all my energy and using it for their evil purposes…as most teens do.  My problem was that I let them.  I had been so drained that I was parenting on autopilot and I was neglecting me.

So I set out to have a different week – and I did.  I set boundaries on what I was willing to do.  If they decided they weren’t going to be home for supper then I decided I wasn’t making any.  They would have to make a sandwich for themselves later as long as it was before 8:00pm because that’s when the kitchen closed.  If they needed clothes cleaned, I passed them the laundry basket and told them to get to it.  If they wanted a drive, then they were going to have to make a few pit stops along the way while I did errands.  If they had the urge to disrespect me they got privileges taken away.  At one point I had to sleep with a cell phone, laptop and an Ipod!  AND if they thought I was going to hang around waiting to tend on them, they got something quite the opposite.

Every move I made, I made with full consciousness.  My decisions were based on if my needs and wants were met.  I didn’t shrug any parental duties or responsibilities, however, I wasn’t about to get taken advantage of – not this week.

I gave myself nice long baths and facials.  I took care of little tasks that kept getting put off because I was too busy doing things for the rubber-necks.  I seemed to get more housework done, cook better meals and socialize more than I have in ages despite a longer work week.

I had great walks and terrific talks with a fabulous friend – thanks Ellen.  My sensational friend, Iris, invited me over for drinks on her back patio in the middle of the week (I normally would say no, but not this week) – thanks Iris for all the entertaining grown-up conversation.  I took my son for a swim at my friend’s house on the lake – thanks April and Jim, you guys are really great.  A delightful friend and I took a walk along the waterfront to a restaurant where we dined divinely – thanks Deborah.  I drove out-of-town to meet a friend I’ve been meaning to visit for years.  We lunched, caught up on years of gaps, she showed me her horses and invited me back with my kids – thanks Terry, I had a ball.  

It was a good week.  The summer is definitely picking up.  Paying attention to ‘me’ really had its rewards.  It reminded me that if I don’t respect my time, then how will anybody else.  I’m not sure if my kids noticed anything different other than being inconvenienced…but hopefully they will eventually. 

The lesson I’ve learned is that even though I might get off course sometimes, it doesn’t mean I have to stay there.  I just need to tune in to me in order to zone in to the kids.  Someone once said “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”.

My Mom said that they take after me when I was a teenager – thanks Mom?!  She also said that I turned out OK – I’m guessing so will my babies.  I’m counting on it.  No matter what, they are the most important people in my life and I love them – rubber necks and all!

*Rubber-neck syndrome: the loosely nodding or swaying of a teen’s head usually exhibited immediately after a parent makes a request or comment.  This condition expresses lack of interest and respect, also weak neck muscles.

I wait most of the year for my favorite season to arrive, summer.  I love the warmth of the sun, picnics in the park, hours at the beach, drives outside the city and the annual sitting on a pub patio with friends splurging on nachos and Corona. 

But this year is different.  This year it’s like I’m pretending to like summer.  The park, the beach and the drives seem like a chore.  I’m doing them like I’m supposed to be doing them and not because I want to.  I’m going through the motions.  There’s no excitement.  It’s almost painful.  Not to mention that global warming has had its effect on the humidity where it can smother the life out of a week of friendly sunshine. 

I might be feeling this way because the kids have grown to teenagers and they want to do different things like hang out with their friends more than their Mom (or that’s how my daughter explains it).  All the things that they once enjoyed as a family is now ‘stupid’ (that’s how my son explains it).  I get that, I remember being a teenager.  But I seem to still be running left and right providing transportation and making meals that no one is eating (because they ate crap with their friends right before they made it home to the dinner table). 

Maybe I’m starting to get lonely, a feeling I vaguely remember.  Possibly I need a change in lifestyle.  It could be as simple as going with the flow.  I’m not sure.  All I know is that up till this moment I have been zoned out.  I didn’t realize how zoned out I was until I started writing this blurb.  When these words were all out on the page I started to realize that the blah blah blah in my head looks the same on paper.

This week I’ll be shaking it up a little.  I’ll change how and what ‘I’ am doing.  I’ll trade mundane days into captivating ones.  Tune in instead of zoning out.  The next seven days will be filled with what I want to do instead of have to dos.  If anything…minimize the blah blah blah!

” Something wonderful is going to happen today and I can’t wait to find out what it is.”

Almost every morning for over two years I have said this quote.   I’m not sure where I found it but it caught my attention.  I said it so often that my children started to say it too.  It became part of our morning as we headed out the door for school and work.  At the end of the day, at supper time, we would trade stories of what wonderful things happened to each of us during the day.  I’m not sure why we stopped. 

Lately, mornings have not been so light.  Maybe it’s because of the time of year it is?  Maybe it’s because mornings are too hectic?  Maybe we forgot the wonderful things that can happen in the run of a day?  Maybe it’s time we should recite and giggle over our little mantra again? 

First thing tomorrow morning I will remind my family to keep a positive attitude by saying, “Something wonderful is going to happen today and I can’t wait to find out what it is.”

 

Sunday morning came early for me today – 5:17am to be exact.  I woke and rose without a plan or motivation to do the same old Sunday routine – chores to be specific.  Heaps of laundry, bathroom horrors, kitchen catastrophes and a 45-minute pickup everything that’s been flung on the floor for a week hard labor before the vacuuming. 

I could get the kids to help with this; however, I was not in the mood for the asking-begging-yelling sing and dance routine that I would normally have to do to reach their cooperation.  Also, I didn’t have the gumption or the energy to do it myself.  Like I said, no plan – no motivation. 

I turned on my computer (high-speed is not really high-speed anymore…word to my internet provider).  So while I waited for it to boot up, I washed my face and brushed my teeth.  I returned to the computer and checked my email, Face book and Blog site.  After I made my bed I sat down on it and grabbed a book I was reading.  Two sentences in…I put it back on my night stand.  I pulled on a pair of track pants and sweat shirt.  Because everyone was still sleeping I grabbed my car keys and went for a drive – escape to be accurate. 

Driving around with no destination was a little boring but at least I wasn’t doing any housework.  I started to think about how my Sunday mornings use to be like years ago when there wasn’t so many demands and responsibilities.  I began to create a full-out fantasy of the perfect Sunday morning. 

I would sleep in till 8:00 or 9:00 am (I know it’s early but it’s still sleeping in for me).   The coffee machine would have been set the night before so I could wake smelling the aroma.  I’d take my coffee, newspaper and book into the living room or out on the patio.  Still in my pajamas and wrapped with a blanket I would curl up and enjoy the silence.  Light a candle or two and just lounge.  I wouldn’t move for a couple of hours.  Then for the second half of my morning I would indulge in a huge omelet-type breakfast with fresh fruit on the side and a pot of herbal tea.  Turn on a new-release DVD or old black and white movie and lounge some more. 

I imagined my Sunday morning till I was driving into my driveway.  My extra long day-dream was halted by reality.  In order for me to have one of those Sunday mornings again I would have to rent a hotel room.  ….hey, now that’s a possibility.?!  I think I just made a plan I can get motivated about. 

What’s your idea of a perfect Sunday morning?

This piece can also be found on Imperfect Woman. com :  http://www.imperfectwomen.com/sunday-morning/

Treasure Island Beach

 

 A few short weeks ago my family and my sister’s family took a vacation to Treasure Island, Florida.        

Coming from the East Coast of Canada, we were thrilled to take in the hot climate.        

We all had a wonderful time discovering the area. We shopped at the outlet stores and had a blast at Universal Studios.  Although we enjoyed hanging out at the pool, it was the beach that I enjoyed the most.        

One morning, before anyone woke up, I walked down to the beach.  While I was there, I was inspired to write a poem.    

    

   

   

FROM DEEP WITHIN      

With each step my toes are sprinkled with fine crystal-like granules.       

Small puffs of dust escape from under my feet as I gently stroll along.      

I feel the warmth from above on my face and arms and chest.      

Contentment smiled from deep within.      

       

I looked down at the bone-colored blanket of sand that spread out in front of me.      

It edged out into pale-grey cement that was decorated with pebbles and shells.      

Soft creamy suds glided over my feet and effortlessly returned back to its source.      

Excitement stirred from deep within.      

       

Standing motionless while warm liquid encircled my ankles,      

I gazed ahead to see slight turbulence of eggshell capped billows.      

The aqua water glistened as it calmly sailed out to meet the line in the distance.      

Clear blue space stretched high above me and beyond      

as the kind wind played with my hair.      

Peace is released from deep within.      

- Kimberly Field

 “My sister accommodates me, never reproaches me with her doctrine, never tries to change me.  She accepts and loves me, despite our differences.”  – Joy Harjo

  

She’s a true treasure.  She has become someone in my life that I could not live without.  She’s naturally part of my family but I have chosen her to be one of my closest friends.  She’s my Sister.

We are alike and so different in countless ways.  We can be in agreement and then other times our thoughts are quite opposing.  There is a mutual respect that continues to build and binds us closer as years go by.  There is a trust for each other that no one could dismantle.  There is a genuine love that is thicker than blood.  She’s my Sister.

Our paths have always been and probably always will be on different shores but those shores will always lead to a common ocean.  Our distance keeps us close.  Our bond will keep us closer.  She’s my Sister.